Self-care plan

What does self-care look like?

You care about young people and their futures. You put your best effort into your role to be the best you can for those you work with. But to do this effectively, you first need to take care of yourself. Self-care is about actively looking after your own wellbeing so that you can support others more effectively. A pre-planned approach to self-care is like wearing a life jacket on a boat and taking swimming lessons so you can keep yourself safe out on the water and be prepared for an emergency.

Working with young people who are going through a tough time, or with stressed colleagues pushes your limits and puts you under pressure. Your role, most likely, has a lot of uncertainty and planning to take care of yourself may feel like a difficult challenge. But self-care is a crucial part of regular professional practice. Have you heard the popular saying, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’? How might this saying relate to your role as a youth worker? While self-care is different for everyone, here is some general advice for managing work and life stress:

• Regularly participate in events or activities that energise you and bring vitality, lower stress and improve your overall physical, mental, emotional and social wellbeing.
• Exercise, eat well, and take time to fully relax.
• Learn a new skill, take up a hobby or interest outside of your usual routine.
• Do at least one thing every day that makes you feel better.

But, where do you start? Create a plan to improve self-care:

1. Take inventory of what you do every day, week, month or at other regular intervals.
2. Think about yourself and what makes you feel good. Look around you at what is available to you.
3. Identify activities, practices and strategies that would be meaningful for you. Things you would enjoy and help lower your stress. You are more likely to commit to a self-care plan if it is something you want to do!
4. Think about how you could incorporate more self-care into your daily or regular habits.

Self-care is not about giving yourself yet another chore or taking on more stressful responsibility. Self-care is about knowing how to take care of your own wellbeing. This includes letting go of thoughts, behaviours and attitudes that negatively impact you and replacing them with habits for a positive impact.

Task: Where to start?

In this task you need to identify aspects and strategies that could contribute to your self-care and start to develop a personal regular self-care plan (also part of assessment for this Module).

1. Read over the instructions in the assessment task on developing a self-care plan.
2. Complete the worksheet available to download here: Finding balance: Te Whare Tapa Whā¹
3. Read this online article: Developing a self-care plan.²
4. On a large sheet of paper, brainstorm activities and strategies that would make sense for you and would improve your day-to-day, regular self-care under these headings:

• Physical
• Psychological/mental
• Emotional
• Spiritual
• Relationships and social support
• Workplace and professional

You may wish to adapt this list and use your own headings, such as whanaungatanga, wairuatanga, or the headings used in Te Whare Tapa Whā. Make sure that your list of headings covers a holistic approach to self-care and wellbeing.

At the Mental Health Foundation’s website is an alternative self-care planning option you may prefer to download: Personal wellbeing plan³. It is near the end of the fact sheet about the five ways to wellbeing.

If you would like to do a similar activity with young people, you may find the following resources and ideas useful:

• Simplified version of Finding balance: Te Whare Tapa Whā (Individual)⁴
• Te Whare Tapa Whā Chatterbox activity⁵
• Create posters with the title ‘My/Our ways to wellbeing’ and Te Whare Tapa Whā headings: Whenua, Hinengaro, Wairua, Whānau, Tinana. Young people write or draw actions, activities and experiences to uplift their wellbeing under each heading and display the posters as a reminder to do more of the things that make them feel good.

Holistic self-care

Self-care is a commitment to valuing and caring for yourself, your relationships, and the work you do. As mentioned above, a holistic approach covers all physical, spiritual, mental and emotional aspects of wellbeing – anything that could affect or influence your wellbeing is part of a holistic approach.

It is important to recognise everything that contributes to your personal health and wellbeing and understand how they impact you. Things outside work like family conflicts, financial insecurity, illness, caring for elderly whānau, even home renovations or moving to a new house all impact your mental and emotional state and how you show up professionally (your ability to be at your best on-the-job). Equally, what happens at work flows over into your home life with safety concerns, worry over clients, unfinished tasks, meetings or evaluations and reviews coming up. Address whatever is impacting your wellbeing as part of a self-care plan, or work stress can easily spill over as you become unwell, anxious, frustrated or find it difficult to shut down thoughts about work during personal time.

Holistic wellbeing is unique to each person, but for most it must include sufficient good quality sleep, nutritious meals and physical wellbeing (health). Some common forms of holistic self-care include:

• Mediation or yoga for relaxation and mindfulness, massages or soaking in a hot pool.
• Creative interests like painting, photography, crafts or artwork.
• Time spent connecting and being with family and friends.
• Enjoyable hobbies like reading, gardening or trying out new recipes.

Task: Why self-care?

Watch the video below about self-care for social workers (07:15)⁶. It outlines self-care principles and why a self-care plan is necessary. The advice it provides applies to those working with youth. As you watch the video, write down two or three key points that you would like to remember.

Develop a self-care plan

A self-care plan makes up part of the assessment you will submit for this module. At the end of this topic, when you are ready, there are optional templates you may decide to use along with this 4-step process:

Explore further

Read this article, A five step guide to self-care, to see how one youth worker put together a self-care plan.⁷ This article also includes a link to a podcast on living a balanced life for youth workers.

Why regular self-care?

In the daily rush and responsibility of work, family, and other commitments, many of us overlook regular self-care. It can be difficult to switch from supporting others to focusing on our own wellbeing. Yet, though it is a challenge, making self-care a priority is what makes us more effective as youth workers in our role. Think about how you maintain your car regularly to keep it working well for longer. Well, the same principle applies to us!

Develop self-care habits

Most of us learned from our parents, caregivers, or other family how to look after ourselves and our homes. Every day we do normal tasks like eating breakfast, washing clothes, getting dressed or cleaning the dishes without much planning or forethought because we have been doing them every day for many, many years.

How can you integrate more self-care into your routine? It takes about one month of consciously introducing changes to thoughts and behaviours into a regular routine for them to become part of your mental awareness. Then a further three months for them to become habits. You need to practise the self-care in your plan every day until it becomes habitual.

Make sure the activities you include in your self-care plan are things you want to do and enjoy. Otherwise, it will be difficult to stick with the plan. Also, be realistic about what fits with your lifestyle. What will realistically work for you and your family? You may need to do a little reorganising or make extra time during the day or on the weekend. You may also include activities that work towards a long-term goal like running a marathon or taking a holiday. Examples of regular self-care activities could include:

• Daily goals: exercise, eat well, rest and sleep, meditation, journaling
• Weekly goals: exercise group, longer walk, short hike, club activity, art or craft project, new hobby
• Monthly goals: community group activity, dinner out with friends
• Semi-regular goals: hikes, marathons, retreats, holiday, reunions.

In the long run, what makes even a realistic plan successful is your commitment to do what you plan to do. Display your plan where you can see it often at work and/or at home to remind and inspire you – take that lunchtime walk, eat fruit not biscuits for afternoon tea, and so on. You can also get creative and make your plans more visually appealing. You may want to share your plan with a friend or colleague to build in some accountability.

Māori health models

Māori health models for maintaining wellbeing used in Aotearoa include:

• Te Wheke (Rose Pere): 8 octopus tentacles representing different health aspects that contribute collectively to waiora (total wellbeing).
• Te Pae Mahutonga (Mason Durie): Southern Cross constellation bringing elements of modern health together with the two pointers of leadership and autonomy.
• Te Whare Tapa Whā (Mason Durie): the cornerstones of wellbeing represented by the wharenui.

You have already been introduced to these models, but you can review the basics of them again at the Ministry of Health’s website under Māori health models.⁸

You can use these models to help develop a self-care plan that fits best with who you are. Include your cultural and spiritual priorities, such as prayer, meditation, cultural or religious events and activities.

Know your boundaries

There is no one way to do self-care. Do what is right for you. For example, one person’s wellbeing may improve when they add some hobbies to their regular routine. Yet, another person finds introducing more activity into the day makes them less relaxed and it is harder to find a balance. Get to know and respect your own needs and boundaries.

During the early stages of self-care planning, identify things you could pass on to someone else or stop doing completely. Questions in the self-care plan template at the end of this topic address these issues or challenges. Do not force yourself to do things you dislike as part of self-care – find an alternative way to achieve your goals. For example, if your feet are usually sore at the end of a workday, do not put an evening jog into your plan. Maybe floor-based yoga would give you some relief instead. Or, if your children want all your attention after work, rather than going for a run by yourself, try a family game of soccer at the local park. It achieves an exercise goal and gives you fun, active time with the family. You may have to be creative, even make a few false starts, but the goal is to find self-care that provides you with what you need and works for your lifestyle, so you can maintain it past the first week.

Set clear, realistic boundaries between work and home life and between family or house responsibilities and personal wellbeing time and activities. When those around you are demanding your time and attention it can feel easier to give away self-care or time for yourself to accommodate others. But ultimately this is self-sabotage. To be fully there for others, you must first make sure your own needs are met. Like your car, if you do not fill up the tank and run out of petrol, or get regular maintenance and break down your car no longer fulfils its purpose. You may need also need to develop the confidence to respectfully expect others to respect your boundaries both at home and at work.

Barriers to wellbeing

Do you know what is getting in the way of you achieving self-care? Do you need to ‘get yourself out of the way’? Does it sometimes feel like you are your own worst enemy as you try to do everything and be everything to everyone? Remember, the people around you are also capable and usually willing to do their share, to step up and with help and support when needed. You do not have to do everything yourself! When you need help ask for it. Stop volunteering for extra work that you have no time to do.

Here are things that can get in the way of self-care success and some suggestions on how to manage them. If these are issues for you, honestly ask yourself if this barrier can be removed.

Where do the barriers sit – at home or at work?

• At home: get your family together, explain your situation and ask them to help you. As a family, discuss how you can allocate tasks and what the benefits are of everyone contributing to the household. For example, more time to do fun things with you!
• At work: work realistic hours or those allocated to your role. While some unrecognised overtime is necessary at time for emergencies or special occurrences, working long hours every week is not healthy or sustainable. If you regularly struggle to get everything done within your normal hours this is a problem. You need to talk with your supervisor and managers at the organisation. Asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness – it is a sign of maturity. It shows that you have strength and commitment to be the best you can be in your role by advocating and taking care of yourself, so you can be fully there for others.

What strategies can you use to manage or limit the impact of the barriers? Others with experience in your organisation or professional groups have most likely created their own self-care plans. Ask them for advice on how they adjusted to ensure their own needs were met. Anyone who is a long-term youth worker and not burnt out is a good source of advice. Although, keep in mind that not everyone’s strategies will work for you and your circumstances. Think about how the strategies others use are likely to impact you. Select and trial those that make sense for you. If you need to make changes that impact others, make sure you communicate clearly with those affected. Discuss the draft of your self-care plan with people who know you well like your supervisor, mentor or a close colleague or friend. These are people who want to see you succeed and that you can trust to talk through your concerns and how to set difficult boundaries.

Also, regularly review your self-care plan to adjust as circumstances change or you find better ideas. Things do not stay the same. Ask for help when you need it. Take time out to work on your self-care. Everyone will benefit.

Task: Reflection on self-care

Challenging or uncomfortable situations are learning opportunities that can help us become more self-sustaining and self-aware professionals. They enable us to move forward and integrate new knowledge into our practice. Without this we can stagnate and not learn anything new.

Think about a time you felt things were getting out of control. For example, when you did not have enough time to complete what you needed to do or you were under pressure to do something you did not have the skills or ability to do:

• How did this situation make you feel?
• What did you do about it?
• Did you talk to anyone? How did the conversation go?
• What did you learn from this situation?
• What did you do with this learning?
• How could you integrate this learning into your self-care plan?

Explore further

The Youth Affairs Council Victoria offers some advice and resources from both a youth and youth worker perspective.⁹ While it is Australia based, this website’s information is also suitable for New Zealand youth workers.

Emergency self-care plan

So far, we have look at self-care as regular maintenance of our wellbeing. We cannot take our health and wellbeing for granted. We need to give it our attention and de-stress. Stress or lack of self-care can show up in many different ways, however, weight gain, strained relationships, family dysfunction, depression, and illness are common.

However, we also need to plan self-care for moments of crisis to support us through times when work or life become especially challenging. We need strategies we can turn to keep us going and sustain us. In a crisis, we need to focus on our own wellbeing, especially when we also have to support others through the crisis.

Having an emergency self-care plan ready is not overplanning. During times of extreme stress or emotional upheaval, our regular self-care maintenance plan may not be sufficient or practical. We may need more targeted or intense support or intervention.

Here is a suggested process for putting an emergency self-care plan together:

List the things you do now to support yourself when you get upset; for example, listening to music, reading, watching a movie, going for a walk. What do you do to de-escalate yourself and become calmer or relax?

List all the things you like to do when you are in a good mood, or that put you into a good mood. The things you do when you want to treat yourself.

List things you do, or do not do, if you are struggling to get through the day. For example, what can you do that will help you get through a day?

• Avoid caffeine when feeling anxious.
• Breathing exercises or meditation breathing.
• Become conscious of thoughts and self-talk; focus only on what is necessary or positive.
• Stay in the moment; check thoughts and do not indulge in ‘what if’ thinking.

List people you can call for support and/or distraction, such as friends, parents, minister, priest, spiritual partner, family members, mentors, peers, colleagues. Look at your list and think about who you call first for different reasons:

• Who do you call when you need a chat?
• Who do you call when you are angry or upset?
• Who do you call when you feel like company?
• Who will really listen to you without judgement?
• Who will you call to get out of the house, go for a walk or do something fun?
• Who holds you accountable?
• Who helps you follow your self-care plan?

List all the ways you know of that could improve your mood or make you feel better. For example, a compliment jar. Ask people to fill a jar with notes on the things that like and appreciate about you. When you are struggling, take some out and read them. You could also write compliment notes to others, as one way to feel more positive about yourself is to actively focus on what is positive about others. A similar option is to have a daily habit of writing notes on things that went well, that you achieved or were successful at and put these into a success jar. On days when things are not going well and you start to catastrophise about your self-worth, read some notes from the success jar to remind you. For example, fill a notebook, a file or even a jar of nice comments people have said to you or about you. You can also create a success jar by writing down all the good stuff from every day and putting it into a jar to read on those days when life doesn’t go according to plan.

As you build this list, a picture emerges of what your normal actions and reactions are to crisis situations. You can then adjust where necessary. Ask yourself again what do I do now? What do I want to do in the future? What is going to be the best support self-care plan for me?

What to think

Personal thoughts can become negative when faced with a crisis. Ensure you speak to yourself in a positive voice. Words have great impact, and we tend to be our own biggest critic. The tone you set for yourself will greatly influence how you feel and react to different situations.

1. Make a list of positive things to say to yourself when you are giving yourself a hard time.
2. Practice changing a negative thought into a positive one. Change ‘I can’t do that, I’m dumb’ into ‘I have found something new to learn’, or ‘I am so busy I will never get all this work done!’ can be changed into ‘I will develop a work schedule so that I can get all this finished’.
3. Think about what you would say to a client or friend if you were supporting them through a crisis, and apply it to yourself.

Ask yourself

• Is this actually how I feel or is this my mind bringing up the past that doesn’t matter or thinking about things that haven’t even happened yet?
• Are my thoughts positive and focused on what I need to feel more positive or make this situation better?
• Is this train of thought helpful or destructive?

Take notice so that your mind doesn’t hijack your reactions to any crisis situation. If you need to pull up and refocus, do this as many times as you need to. Stay focused on what is important, true, and happening in this moment. When your mind wanders into other territory, bring it back to the moment and put a positive spin on it. Think nice thoughts.

How to stay balanced

External spaces can also affect us. For example, if you live in a small flat, or work in a small office without windows, and feel you need to escape the 4-walls, then getting outside can help distract your thoughts and bring a feeling of peacefulness. Learn what you don’t like when you are upset as well.

Know who will bring balance to a situation or event

• People who offer a listening ear.
• People who will be helpful in times of crisis.
• People with strong problem-solving skills.

Make a list of what you can do to help yourself

• Learn to say no, ensure you have time to rest and relax fully!
• Stay hydrated, drink water and limit alcohol when feeling stressed.
• Eat healthy and nutrient dense foods to fuel your day.
• Listen to upbeat music during the day or relaxing music at the end of the day.
• Exercise and go for a walk to help improve rest and sleep.
• Keep your inner voice positive and kind.

Be aware of yourself and know what upsets you or makes you anxious. Surround yourself with people and activities that help you get through your week in a positive way.

Create an emergency self-care plan:

You need to have strategies to take care of yourself when situations become all-encompassing and overwhelming at work or in your personal life. It can be helpful to print these notes onto a postcard sized sheet to take with you in the car, in your wallet or handbag.

Put together all the information you have written from ‘What to do, What to think and What to avoid’, to create an emergency self-care plan for yourself. You can find example plans by doing a Google images search before you create your own.

Self-care plan templates

Use these templates to create the following types of self-care plans:

• Self-care plan
• Maintenance self-care plan
• Emergency self-care plan

Task: Putting emergency plans into action

Using a crisis situation that you have faced previously or are likely to face in the future as an example, describe how you could put your emergency plan into action.

Evaluate your self-care plans

Firstly, decide that your self-care is important and make a firm commitment to it. Find someone who can support you and keep you accountable, a family member, friend, or work colleague. Evaluate your progress at the end of each week. Celebrating the small gains can help motivate you to carry on and allows you to tweak the plan if you have taken on too much. Remember to adjust everything to find a balance that fits and works for you. If you have monthly activities or semi-regular activities, ensure you include these in a quarterly or 6-monthly evaluation.

Explore further

As Jenni Berrett [10] makes clear in the quote above, ‘freaking out’ can use up a lot of energy! In her article, Emergency Self-Care: Tips for Loving Yourself During a Crisis¹⁰ you’ll find some contemporary and honest reflections of self-care today.

And you can find even more resources by visiting these sites:

• Self Care for Youth Workers¹¹ from The Youth Coalition, Australia.
• Developing a self-care plan¹² from ReachOut, an online mental health service for young people and their parents in Australia.
• Take a look at the range of articles and free resources¹³ (some that you can order for delivery, including activities, posters, and more – many of them at no cost) offered by ‘All Right?’ A health-promoting social marketing campaign based in Ōtautahi, Christchurch.
• 5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life¹⁴ by Elizabeth Scott, PhD for Verywell Mind.

Use the information and resources in this topic to help you complete the self-care plan for Task 2 in Assessment 5.2, 5.3, 5.4.