Childrens Emotional Development

Emotional development begins early in a child’s life. Even very young children experience deep and intense feelings, including:

Although they can experience intense emotions, newborns and infants are unable to moderate the expression of those emotions.

Watch

The following 2-minute video explains what is happening in our brains as we experience emotions:

A child’s emotional development is influenced by their individual experiences and the environments where they live, learn and play. For newborns and young infants, sensitive and responsive caregiving provides the foundation for emotional development.

As a child gets older, their brain forms interconnections that support the development of more mature emotional behaviour. During the toddler and preschool stages, children develop the capacity to interpret their experiences and understand and interpret other people’s responses to them. Their brain builds upon the foundations of emotional development established during infancy.

By the end of the preschool years, children with a strong emotional foundation can talk about their feelings. This ability, along with an awareness of their own and other people’s feelings, helps children manage social interactions.

WATCH

Watch the following 2-minute video published by Harvard University about how a child’s experiences influence their brain development:

Helping children recognise and identify their full range of emotions is critical for their emotional development. The ability to feel and recognise all emotions is important – including those considered to be ‘good’ (e.g. happiness, excitement) and ‘bad’ (e.g. anger, envy). It is an educator’s role to encourage children to feel and recognise the full range of their emotions and assist children to share and regulate their emotions in a positive way.

When children can label their own emotions, they can better communicate their own feelings and empathise with others. A child’s ability to regulate and share their emotions in an appropriate way will have a significant impact upon their ability to develop and maintain respectful relationships with other people.

Educators can help children label their emotions by talking to them about other people’s feelings and how those feelings are expressed. For example, a person who feels sad might express those feelings by crying, and a person who is angry might express those feelings by shouting.

WATCH

The following almost 4-minute video explains how labelling emotions can be helpful:

Here are some strategies you can use to help children in different age groups recognise and label their range of emotions:

Educators can also help children express and manage their feelings by encouraging and providing opportunities for play. Play is critical to every aspect of a child’s development, including their social and emotional development.

Children’s ability to understand and deal with their emotions and behaviour is the foundation for their social skills. The ability to understand and deal with your emotions and behaviour is known as ‘self-regulation’.

A person who can self-regulate is able to:

• Calm themselves down when they get upset
• Manage frustrating situations
• Adapt to changed expectations

WATCH

The following 3-minute video explains self-regulation and presents techniques that can help children learn to self-regulate:

Children need support to develop self-regulation skills. These skills develop through their relationships with other people. Children also learn self-regulation skills by watching adults.

Warm and responsive relationships are essential to children’s ability to self-regulate. When children express themselves and get something back – such as a cuddle, a smile or an answer to a question – they learn how to think, communicate and show emotions.

Children develop self-regulation through warm and responsive relationships. They also develop it by watching the adults around them.

Self-regulation starts when children are babies. It develops most in the toddler and preschool years, but it also keeps developing right into adulthood. For example, babies might suck their fingers for comfort or look away from their caregivers if they need a break from attention or are getting tired.

Toddlers can wait short time for food and toys. But toddlers might still snatch toys from other children if it’s something they really want. And tantrums happen when toddlers struggle with regulating strong emotions.

Three- to five-year-old children are starting to know how to play with other children and understand what’s expected of them. For example, they might help a friend when they are hurt.

School-age children are getting better at controlling their own wants and needs, imagining other people’s perspectives and seeing both sides of a situation. This means that they might be able to disagree with other children without having an argument.

Here are some strategies you can use during everyday activities and interactions with children to promote self-regulation and help them develop self-regulation skills:

• Use touch to demonstrate support and encouragement (e.g., rubbing a child’s back when they are having difficulty with a task).
• Reflect on what you think a child is feeling (ask them, ‘Are you feeling frustrated?’), then cue them to calm down by using phrases such as ‘I can help you’ and ‘Let’s take a deep breath and relax’.
• Help to regulate children’s attention by pointing to or commenting on an interesting pattern or picture in a book – this helps children focus their attention.
• Help to regulate children’s attention by pointing to or commenting on an interesting pattern or picture in a book – this helps children focus their attention.
• When a child is finding a situation or task difficult to manage, coach them through it and provide the right level of support until they can manage the situation on their own.
• Praise and encourage all attempts by children to regulate their emotions.

Watch

Watch the following 5-minute video shows the RULER strategy that can be used to help toddlers regulate their emotions:

Games and self-regulation

For children between the ages of three (3) and five (5), games are an especially helpful way of developing self-regulation. Useful types of games include:

• Matching games – such as games that require children to match cards or tiles in pairs – help children practise focusing their attention, following rules and holding multiples things in their mind.
• Cooperative games that require children to work together as a team help children develop skills such as planning, taking turns and being a ‘good loser’. Cooperative games can include duck, duck, goose; and dramatic play, such as playing ‘mums and dads’.
• Rhythm and music activities – such as action songs and moving in time to music – help children understand and manage their behaviour and the relationship between physical responses and emotions.

Changes and challenges in self-regulation

The younger the child, the more inconsistent their ability to self-regulate will be and the more support they will need. As children get older, they become more able to self-regulate, and you can reduce your level of support – this will help them become more independent. Careful observation of a child’s skills will help you determine when to withdraw support and when to step in again.

Some children find it more difficult to manage their emotions than others. For example, children with anxiety difficulties may cry more easily than other children and find it more difficult to calm down. Children who find it difficult to manage their emotions may need additional help and support.

Indications that a child may need additional support with self-regulation of behaviour that is disruptive to their or others’ learning and development include:

• Their behaviour is getting more frequent or intense as they get older.
• They behave in ways that are dangerous to themselves or other children.
• They are very withdrawn and have difficulties interacting with other children.

WATCH

The following 8-minute video demonstrates five (5) fun games to teach children self-regulation. These games are:

• Red light, green light
• Freeze game
• Wacky relay
• Self-control bubbles
• Ready, set, go

Tantrums

Tantrums come in all shapes and sizes. It is the most common for children aged 1-3 and it occurs when toddlers are overwhelmed by strong emotions. They can involve spectacular explosions of anger, frustration and disorganised behaviour – when the child ‘loses it’. You might see screaming, stiffening limbs, an arched back, kicking, falling down, flailing about or running away. In some cases, children hold their breath, vomit, break things or hurt themselves or other people as part of a tantrum.

It is most common for toddlers as young children at this early stage of social, emotional and language development can’t always communicate their needs and feelings, including the desire to do things for themselves, so they might get frustrated. And they’re learning that how they behave influences others.

So tantrums are one of the ways that young children express and manage feelings, and try to understand or change what’s going on around them.

Older children can have tantrums too. This can be because they haven’t yet learned safe ways to express or manage feelings.

For both toddlers and older children, there are things that can make tantrums more likely to happen:

• Temperament – this influences how quickly and strongly children react to things like frustrating events or changes in their environment. Children who are more sensitive might be more easily upset by these things.
• Stress, hunger, tiredness and overstimulation – these can make it harder for children to express and manage feelings and stay calm.
• Situations that children just can’t cope with – for example, a toddler might have trouble coping if an older child takes a toy away.
• Strong emotions – worry, fear, shame and anger can be overwhelming for children.

These are a few things you can do to make tantrums less likely to happen:

• Help children understand their emotions. You can do this from birth by using words to label feelings like ‘happy’, ‘sad’, ‘cross’, ‘tired’, ‘hungry’ and ‘comfy’.
• Identify tantrum triggers like tiredness, hunger, worries, fears or overstimulation. You might be able to plan for these situations and avoid the triggers – for example, doing a planned activity after the child has had a nap or something to eat.
• When children handle a difficult situation without a tantrum, encourage them to tune in to how this feels. For example, ‘I just saw you build that tower again without getting upset when it fell. How did that feel? Did you feel strong and calm?’
• Talk about emotions after a tantrum when the child is calm. For example, ‘Did you throw that toy because you were cross that it wasn’t working? What else could you have done?’
• Model positive reactions to stress. For example, ‘I’m worried this traffic is making us late. If I take some deep breaths, it will help me stay calm’.⁵

  WATCH

  Although the following more than 7-minute video was created for parents, you can learn some useful tips to handle and prevent tantrums effectively:

Use the following questions to check your knowledge. You can check the correct answer by clicking on the 'Answer' button:

1. Briefly explain the stages of emotional maturity and brain development for children during the early years.

2. What is self-regulation?

3. What are two techniques that an educator can use to:

• Help a child recognise and identify their emotions
• Help a child develop self-regulation skills?