The wider world of family and community is an integral part of early childhood curriculum.
Me whiri mai te whānau, te hapū, te iwi, me tauiwi, me ō rātou wāhi nohonga, ki roto i te whāriki, hei āwhina, hei tautoko i te akoranga, i te whakatipuranga o te mokopuna. -- Te Whāriki
Foundational Principles
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Te Whāriki Principle 3: Family and community
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Te Whāriki Principle 4: Relationships
These foundational principles build up a huge part of the ECE curriculum, which focuses on the effect that relationships have on the overall wellbeing of our tamariki. For you as kaiako, building respectful and reciprocal relationships with each other, children, their whanau, other colleagues, and the community is an integral part of your role.
Respectful, Responsive and Reciprocal Relationships
| Respectful | A respectful relationship is one of mutual respect, trust, good communication, understanding and honesty. Being in a healthy relationship is a positive experience for both people. |
|---|---|
| Responsive | The dictionary defines responsiveness as 'acting quickly and positively'. We often speak of responsive relationships in early childhood education. We work within a system of relationships, which are all interconnected and reciprocal. |
| Reciprocal | The term reciprocal describes a relationship that's the same on both sides. The word mutual is a near synonym in most uses: reciprocal/mutual friendship, describing, a relationship in which two people feel the same way about each other, or provide similar benefits to each other. |
Other kaiako and colleagues
As kaiako, the connections you build with others are at the heart of teacher wellbeing.
Quality connections depend on trust.
Trustful relationships are relationships in which kaiako have respect for each other, appreciate each other’s talents and strengths, are sensitive to each other’s feelings and offer support to one another. These relationships create a safe environment for kaiako to take risks and learn alongside each other, to talk about feelings and beliefs openly, and to disagree safely. For relationships at work to support wellbeing, there needs to be a consistent connection between kaiako, and the daily practice of making small supportive gestures, such as compliments on work well done.
Unhealthy relationships have consequences for children
Trustful relationships are important for positive social interactions between kaiako. A healthy and reciprocal relationship enables teachers to offer children consistency and reliability. Children watch the way the adults in their lives treat each other, including their kaiako and need positive relationships as positive role models. Relational skills don’t automatically mature like language or motor skills but are learned. Children’s experiences in the first few years of life form a template for all other relationships in the future.
Tikanga Māori
Shared values and relationships with kaiako are important to Māori parents. Māori families value educational experiences that are reflective of key values. We are going to focus on two of them — manaakitanga and whanaungatanga.
Manākitanga
Providing for others for the pure sake of giving unconditionally with grace and abundance.
- Hosting
- Supporting
- Providing
- Welcoming
Manākitanga involves caring attitudes and a willingness to support each group member. It is shown through ritual welcoming ceremonies, hui, and encouraging tuakana-teina — strong relationships between older and younger children. Included is the importance of looking for opportunities for children to be of service to the group, and to collaborate and cooperate in larger groups.
Whanaungatanga
This celebrates our whakapapa and the connections we share through experience, friendships, communities which encourage us to expand the circle of family to create new unions and whānau. It is a true expression of the unity of people and a reminder that we are all interconnected.
- Whakapapa
- Finding connections
- Discovering and embracing commonality
Independent Māori Statutory BoardWhanaungatanga is about forming and maintaining relationships and strengthening ties between kin and communities. This value is the essential glue that binds people together, providing the foundation for a sense of unity, belonging and cohesion.
For a thorough understanding of the power and impact of these teachings on our industry, read the article on The Education Hub, How to support Maori Children with culturally responsive teaching.
Activity – Building healthy relationships
Take a moment to think about the relationships you have with the other kaiako at your service or centre.
- What are they like right now?
- Think critically and be honest with yourself.
- How do you feel when you work alongside each person?
- What do you do to impact the way they feel about working alongside you?
- How do you manāki this relationship?
- How can you strengthen your connection?
- What do you have in common?
- How can you embrace those commonalities? (whanaungatanga)
Make a plan of action for developing and improving relationships so they are supportive and respectful.
- What can you commit to doing to improve them, even if they are already healthy?
- How will you communicate your efforts?
- Are there any daily practices you can incorporate?
- How can you incorporate the concepts of manākitanga and whanaungatanga?
- Are there any small gestures you can make regularly?
Enter your thoughts into a journal post, publish it for your peers to review and look through theirs for inspiration.
Invest in the relationships with the people you work with. Your relationships with tamariki and whānau will benefit from the environment of trust and support.
| Mana | We all have Mana - upholding your own self worth enough to keep your relationships healthy, respectful, and trustful. It involves acknowledging that everyone has Mana and must be honoured. In practice, this can look like, in moments of conflict, separating the kaupapa (issue) from the individual and having respectful communication towards resolution. |
Strategies for developing trustful relationships
- Practise listening and paying attention.
- Prepare yourself not to be judgemental and biased but truly honest.
- Focus on the kaupapa and not the person.
- Value your co-teachers and give a lot of unrushed time to communicating with them.
- Understand that people have different ways of expressing their thoughts.
- Remember to honour their Mana.
- Use exercises to work on communication skills.
- Be personally reflective, especially looking to break cycles of blame.
- Take responsibility for using language that supports other people’s growth and learning.
- Read and share ideas from your learning to develop deeper conversations about meaningful things.
- Value the complexities of the kaupapa.
- Have fun! Look for and create time for joyful moments.
Staff meetings held in a safe and supportive environment are crucial for building trustful relationships. They provide a time when staff can feel nurtured and heard.
Starting and ending staff meetings with karakia is a great way to honour people's wairua (spirit) and the goodwill of everyone present and set intention for successful connection, communication, and resolution. It can even be used as a 'reset' if conflict becomes too intense for it's calming effect and the focus on respect for each other.
An activity for connection could be a video or reading for the purpose of professional development. Ask teachers to talk about what the ideas mean to them. Alternatively or in addition, invite teachers to share what they’ve been learning or feeling inspired about. This openness and inclusion helps teachers understand each other, find ways to collaborate, and build a sense of connection and enhances everyone's Mana.
Activity – Communication analysis
Think back to an experience that you have dealt with at work in an ECE service or centre, in relation to communicating with other kaiako.
- What was good or not so good about it and how can you improve your communication style to ensure trustful relationships in the future?
- Do you feel your Mana was respected? Did you respect their Mana?
Use the forum to share your experience and your intentions going forward.
When developing trust is difficult
Some relationships can be very difficult to develop, but it’s important to try and make some kind of connection. Pay attention to how your colleagues appear to be feeling. You may find an opening to create a connection. Other useful strategies include creating the most of opportunities to foster each kaiako’s sense of belonging, developing their sense of independence, and their strengths and competencies. Trustful relationships do take time and attention.
Activity – Relationship building
Since we have already explored the importance of relationships between colleagues, we'll be looking at relationships between kaiako and:
- Tamariki
- Parents/whānau
- Community
Complete the following template
- What can they expect from you as kaiako?
- What do you need from them?
- What does a reciprocal relationship look like?
- What will you do to strengthen your connection?
Please upload your work in a journal post, publish it for your peers, and review their work for inspiration.
There can be a cultural dimension to developing trustful relationships.
| Whakaiti = | whaka + | iti |
|---|---|---|
| To belittle, make small, reduce, denigrate | to make | small |
Trust involves respect, and people's contrasting cultural positions must be considered in all activities and conversations. For example, in some cultures, it can be inappropriate to disagree or contradict another person, especially if they are more senior or an elder. It is vital to consider your tone, manner, physical presence in an effort not to belittle (whakaiti) or undermine someone's mana. Try not to whakaiti people when working towards solution, or at any time.
Activity - Reflect
Take a moment to consider these questions before clicking the (+) sign
- A colleague could be mistreated.
- A parent could witness the poor behaviour and make a complaint.
In some cultures, it is not okay, under any circumstances to question authority. Because of that it is extremely important to make it clear that reporting bad behaviour is not only encouraged but is a responsibility to keep everyone healthy and safe. Remember, the child is paramout to everything we do, so communication is crucial to protect them.
As part of their induction training, all new staff should be told clearly how to report concerning behaviour. This should be outlined in an official complaints procedure, which defines who to talk to and how to describe concerns or incidents. Managers should keep a very open and comfortable policy about challenging conversations and be aware of the cultural diversity and influences within the community. If your service or centre has not made this clear, you should ask about the complaints procedure.
Focus on connections, not differences
The value of trying to understand and give respect to a person with different beliefs or cultural norms is significant. Be willing to learn, and avoid pushing your own values in a conflict. Instead, try to find something to come together about, perhaps something you mutually believe in, or a focus on the children or understanding the curriculum. Communicating in this way preserves mana and ensures no one feels the whakaiti.
Another good strategy is to invest in another person’s cultural norms, language, or cuisine. Take it a step further and find ways to put yourself in another's shoes and imagine how it feels to face a cultural offence. Try talking to your colleagues about it.
Activity – Cultural sensitivity
In many cultures around the world, including Māori, it is customary to remove your shoes before coming inside.
Read this scenario.
At Ngaire's house, as in most Māori households, no one is allowed to sit on tables because it is considered very poor practice (tapu) in their culture. Her parents have told her time and time again to get off if she forgets. At the centre though, they don't mind if kids sit on tables. One day Ngaire's Mum comes in to pick her up and Ngaire is sitting on a table with her kaiako.
How do you think her Mum felt?
Think about any culturally sensitive situations that you have faced either in a childcare setting or just in everyday life where you needed to consider another person’s views or family background to understand a situation more clearly.
- How did you handle the situation?
- What did you learn from the situation?
- What might you do differently in the future?
We've provided you with scenarios to consider. For each one, think about how you would communicate to whānau, what questions you might ask them, and how could solve the issue.
| Scenario 1: “I don’t want my child to be saying her prayer (karakia) in Māori before mealtimes, I want her to be saying it how we say it at home." |
| Scenario 2: "It is a tradition in our culture that on a child’s birthday we bring goods as an offering to the people who they will be with on the day, I made these traditional sweets for the children and staff to share at morning tea." |
| Scenario 3: “I noticed last night when I got Kelsey home that she had put her pounamu necklace into her pocket. I have asked previously that she not be allowed to take it off as it was given to her by her grandmother. In our family, that is a sacred gift and in our tradition, it is not to be removed except while bathing. Can you tell me why she took it off, as she knows that she is not allowed to remove it? Wasn't anyone paying attention to my daughter? |
Download and complete this template, then upload it to a journal post and share it with your peers. As usual, review their posts for inspiration that you can use in your own life.
